His or Hers?

cue: theme music
cue: cheers and applause from the audience
cue: telegenic host Billy Bob Bailey

Welcome, welcome, welcome! It's time to play "His or Hers?", the popular game where YOU see how well YOU know the STC and his Missus by guessing which one owns, listens to, or otherwise cherishes which CD, LP, or cassette. You can win valuable prizes, or just have fun. So, if everybody's ready, here we go!

ROUND 1 - 10 points apiece:

"Born To Run" (Bruce Springsteen) STC or the Missus?
"Best Ones" (4Him) STC or the Missus?
"Greatest Hits" (Buddy Holly) STC or the Missus?
"Saturday Night Fever" (BeeGees, etc) STC or the Missus?
"Duotones" (Kenny G) STC or the Missus?

DING and there's the end of round one. How do you think you did? Get ready to add up your score, because the answers are...






STC - Missus - STC - Missus - Missus.

Wasn't that fun? Now, let's meet our contestants. STC is tall and suave; his favorite color is red and he dreams of becoming an Argentinian gaucho. The Missus is petite and pretty; she enjoys watching dog shows and baking marzipan. And now it's time for round two. You'll notice the questions are a little harder, and there are more points to be earned. So.....let's go!

ROUND 2 - 20 points apiece:

"The Nutcracker Suite" (Tchaikovsky) STC or the Missus?
"I Am" (Earth, Wind, and Fire) STC or the Missus?
"Round Midnight" (Linda Ronstadt) STC or the Missus?
"Shine" (Newsboys) STC or the Missus?
"Worship" (Michael W. Smith) STC or the Missus?

DING Wow! THAT was exciting! Are you ready with your scorecard? Here we go...






Missus - Missus - STC - STC - STC

If you're all right, you could have 150 points now. If you have less than that, you're still alright by me (canned laughter).

In Round 3 there are only 4 questions, but each is worth... TWENTY FIVE POINTS! Get your pencils ready, cause HERE...WE...GO!

ROUND 3 - 25 points apiece:

"Armed Forces" (Elvis) STC or the Missus?
"Golden Age of Rock and Roll" (Various) STC or the Missus?
"Best of" (the Beach Boys) STC or the Missus?
"Back in Black" (AC/DC) STC or the Missus?

DING Are you ready to see who won this round of ONE HUNDRED POINTS?? Pay attention and here are the answers:






STC - Missus - STC - Missus

(wait a minute! what's that?) Hold everything! The judges have a ruling. If you missed "Armed Forces" because you didn't know it was by Elvis Costello... GIVE YOURSELF THE POINTS! It's OUR bad! cheers from the audience

So we've now given away 250 points. It's time for the final round - "His and Hers Death Match". A tough question, but worth 52 points all by itself. oooos from the audience. Are you ready? Do you think you know these two crazy kids? Grab your honey and give him OR her a squeeze, cause this is for all the marbles......

DEATHMATCH ROUND - 52 points:

"Giants Stadium 5th Night" - a Bruce Springsteen bootleg. So, whose is it? HIS OR HERS??????? STC or the Missus?

I'll give you a chance to think on that while Ted Tuscaloosa tells us what the winner will receive. Ted?

THANKS, BILLY BOB! TODAY'S SECOND PLACE CONTESTANT GETS A FUN-FILLED TRIP TO KUNA IDAHO, LEAVING FROM BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN MERIDIAN. FOR OUR WINNER, HOW ABOUT...A NEW CAR! THIS LOVELY 2006 CHEVY BY MATCHBOX WILL GIVE YOU MINUTES AND MINUTES OF AUTOMOTIVE PLEASURE...IF YOU ARE TODAY'S WINNER! AND NOW, BACK TO YOU BILLY BOB

Thanks, Ted. Sure hope I win the car sometime audience laughter. But now, let's reveal our final answer, and see who's won HIS OR HERS? And the answer is....

The Missus!
gasp from the audience
That's right; STC bought it FOR his Missus to commemorate her first Bruce concert. It's three hours long, it's dozens of songs, and it's all hers. Well, that's all the time we have for today, but thanks for playing, and tune in again tomorrow for

audience chants: HIS OR HERS! HIS OR HERS! HIS OR HERS! HIS OR HERS! HIS OR HERS! HIS OR HERS!
(fade to black)